Random Entries

For the heck of it, since I’m cleaning up my closet, I’ve been reading my physical journal and decided that I’m going to post some interesting ones here, in no particular order. Depending on how much I told you about my past, you might or might not recognize the time and place when these things happened… but I hope that it’ll be a fun read.

May 12, 1998
Well, the entry had to start somewhere. I know that I’m a man who’ll never get things done, but we’ll see how that works out…

May 13, 1998
AP Test tomorrow. Didn’t study. Prepared to die. Shoot. (NOTE: I got a 3/5 on this AP Physics test)

November 7, 1998
(NOTE: this one is freaky, but true) A few days ago I picked up Anna’s headband again. The scent of her is gone. Something that has to do with her changed… she is not the girl I saw opening locker 68 [the locker directly next to mine when I was studying in LQHS] anymore. She’ll never be the same.

September 8, 1999
Finally, finally, I get to talk to someone – a girl – for the – well, at least engaged in normal converation – first – time! … she’s the shoulder lengthed hair girl with my dicussion group at my Phil 100 class. Out of the three cantonese [girls in the class] I got to talk to the cutest! Yes! Great Leap Forward…

January 25, 2000
I’m feeling awfully guilty the last few days… we started drawing from live in our drawing classing… it’s a live model.. all right, nude model. Female nude model… I mean, a real person… and THAT close! At least I tried to look like I’m not thinking about something else. I looked so naive in the class – but soon I found out that the others aren’t doing much better either (thank God).

August 15, 2000
It felt strange to me that when I was with her, everything seems so blury… so much unlike that clear understand I was looking for in an ideal relationship… why didn’t I ask about her past when I was with her? Strange, that I blocked myself from asking questions as simple as “what does your father do…” I’m I feel that I’m so shallow in trying to understand her…

Septermber 11, 2001
Perhaps to me, New York was still a hundred miles away; numbers becomes statistics… what struck me was that how many days we do have until the end of the world.

I suppose the most painful thing about a world shattering event is that painfully, everyone will need to move on… the rest of the world do not stop for us to mourn.

June 16, 2002
Japan is an incredible place. Just by walking around and breathing the air, you can already sense the difference between this place and other spots in the world that I’ve been to. English is close to being useless here, so it looks like I’ll have to pull out whatever Japanese phrases that I know for all it’s worth… (NOTE: this is before I started rigoriously watching anime or took Japanese classes)

and finally,

January 5, 2003
Today I’ve made a rather huge turning point in life. For the first time, I’ve considered someone important enough that I’ve put my own desires aside to accomodate them…

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