*sigh* When you mess around with journal entries that are too cryptic, people stop reading and just start going for juicy gossip that doesn’t take a brain to figure out. Actually, I was writing that last entry in hope that no one but “Jamus devotees” would some how work with it day and night until they can crack the code and find out one of the biggest secrets in my life right now. Ahh well, if anyone actually cared that much, I would have just given the answer to that person in the first place.
So, without further duo, back to all the things that make up my insignificant life.
Lately, I’ve been waking up late every morning — I’ve been having such good dreams lately. Have you noticed that the best dreams always come when you’re in such a hurry to get up and do something? If you take your lazy afternoon break sleeping or if you are sleeping over on weekends, either the dreams suck or you wake up feeling like puking, your back aches, your muscles are all tight, and you are hungry but you don’t feel like eating anything.
Some wierd trends about all of my dreams:
– My family keeps poping back in them even though I see everyone else more often than them.
– My dreams never take place in realistic locations
– My nightmares never have scary things in them (but I wake up scared for no reason nevertheless)
– There’s hardly any girls appearing in my dreams (am I that hopeless? *sob*)
Here’s the kicker, though: If I ever develop an affection for anyone, I’d be harshly rejected by that person sooner or later in a dream. I got rejected by the most recent one probably around the beginning of this year. Even though I believe it’s mostly because my self-confidence has always been somewhere in the bottomless pit, I can’t help but wonder if it’s a sign that maybe I should stop trying and just settle for a pathetic single life.
I mean, acceptance is the first step to recovery, right?