Sense of Loss.

Another series of bad events are beating me down.

– First of all, The Matrix movie sucks. That much is obvious, and now I have lost almost all faith in the movie industry – good thing that I did watch X-2 before that. That made me feel a little better.

– The Matrix game is not too bad, but because I’m so disappointed with the movie, I can’t bring myself to want to jack into the Matrix. Plus I get to see a CONSOLE game lock up for the first time. It ain’t pretty.

– Ronin lost first place in NewGrounds portal. Of course, the fact that it’s being knocked down isn’t that much of a shock: afterall, what goes up must come down, and I mean, that is coming from a game that I thought wouldn’t amount to anything. But… it’s being taken over by… Retarded Animal Babies. It seems that someone with some heavy “voting power” is able to drag my entry down by 0.01 point every day and the other entry by 0.01 points. When Ronin made top, I promise myself I won’t get mad because the entry that takes my place must be something more worthy – and I’ll respect the person who rightfully earned his place.

Well, he didn’t.


– There’s no motivation for me to do anything but there’s too many things that needs to be done. More club T-Shirt stuff, still no progress on the commission art, not even a half decent drawing for a long, long time since the club T-Shirt.

– Time and again I’m being reminded of how terrible my people skill is, and how it is not going anywhere, how it’s not improving, how it’ll forever taint my life as a curse that I can never be rid of.

– Time and again I’m being proved on how hopeless it is to try and pursue “her”.

I feel like I’m being cheated out of my money.
I feel like I’m being cheated out of my time.
I feel like I’m being cheated out of my youth.

You mock me, GOD, seeing how you’re now double pissed that I’m never coming back. Yeah, you sit there, you laugh. This is only going to make me more pissed off. I’m no fucking Job, you fucking control freak. Leave me THE FUCK ALONE!

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