There’s an obvious reason for me to try and belittle myself whenver I remember that I need to do it. No, it’s not because of my Chinese heritage; that part of me ‘died’ when I became mostly Americanized. It’s because deep down in me, I love to brag about myself. And I still do it, whenever I stop catching myself doing it.
Every day, every moment, it seems as if I can’t live without telling someone something good about myself. Partly because I think it eases my insecurity about how I’m not a productive member of society and needs some justification for existance; but mostly it’s about me, and nothing but how good your amazement is suppose to make me feel when I show you what I can do.
Of course, as life run its full course, I realize that trying to brag about everything isn’t exactly a very good idea. If you’re lucky, the other guy simply ignores you and continues whatever thing he was doing; worst yet, someone can challenge you at something that you’re good at and you can LOSE fair and square. Now that hurts. And it has been done to me before. Numerous times.
That’s why you should never, ever try to say you’re good at anything if you can; chances are someone nearby would hear you and then beat you at your own game. You’d be surprised how many people can easily beat you at anything you attempt to accomplish in life.
But even as I realize all these facts, sometimes my tongue would slip and I would start talking about how great I am. When that happens, please be a pal and slap me on the head for it. Any physical trauma to rid me of this curse would be much appreciated.