On The Other Hand

My brother found himself another girlfriend.

To clearify things a bit, my brother and I had always been rival in some aspects of life – our parents are not pushing too hard, but just the fact that they’re the traditional type means that we get compared to each other every other week or so.

So far, I’ve never won a single victory against my brother. There might be advantages for him to be older than me and go first on every venture of life, but in the end after I walk the same path he still comes out on top. Let’s take some more recent events that I mentioned and you remembered (hopefully):

Remember how my brother graduated from UCI? We both went in to get an ICS degree, he came through four years all at UCI and graduated with honors. Me? I slacked two years in a community college, and I’m barely able to graduate this year if everything works out (which seldomly does).

Remember how I mentioned that my brother worked at Blizzard? We both wanted to be game programmers for quite awhile – we had gone as far as to collaborate on ideas and make some stuff together some years back. He got the job from that place after one interview – no BS, no phone calls, just a note in the mail a week after the interview that says “you’re hired”. Me? I’d be happy if I can make it somewhere in some third rate independent developers somewhere in the middle of nowhere and get no pay for whatever the hell I do for them.

Not to mention that my brother hopped from a part time job at Rockwell to a year long internship at Intel 2 years into UCI, and he came back and finished his degree just fine. No way in hell I can get my ass near glorious titles like that – not even in my dreams.

And to come full circle, I’ll admit that half of what I did back around ’99 and 2000 with all the crazy attempts at online dating was bacause my brother scored big with his first girlfriend – a fine prototype of asia’s finest, pure, innocent, and completely submissive to every whims. Well, he gets dumped, but that’s hardly losing – technically, I didn’t even have a start on anything before I lost, so I’ve let this record slide and hid the truth of those two years from my family (and told it to everyone else).

So here I am, going to Todai at what is suppose to be my birthday dinner, and I sat through two full hours of gigglish conversation between my brother and his new girlfriend, which is another fine example of perfection – or something like that. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised that my entire meal tastes fishy – that and my allergy still acting up on me makes this one of the worst birthday dinner ever.

Of course, it’s not like any of our birthday dinners were anything special – in the past years we basically just go out, eat, and that’s the end of the story, but at least I don’t have to stomach so much crap – I honestly start to believe that maturity is just another term for “tolerance of shit in your life”.

Do I even have to explain how I’ve lost this one? I’m already at a lost without my brother’s help, thank you very much. Having myself stuck in this kind of situation just makes it all the more worst. And in comes the yellow-orange apcolypse sky. How quaint. I’m sure I’d be fairly amused if somebody come along and blow this fucking world away.

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