Month: November 2003

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Recently, the term “roricon” popped up around Cal Animage’s BBS, at first I thought it was a convention similar to YuriCon… but it turns out to be entirely something else.

A search on Google bring me this article about Japanese panties vending machines (don’t worry, it’s not an adult site). But if you’re too lazy to read the entire page, roricon is short for “Lolita Complex”, a facination with girls that are young and innocent.

So I suddenly had an epiphany while I was reading the page. Isn’t that exactly the kind of girl that I was looking for? When mentioned “female pet”, it was pretty close, but this just hit what I wanted dead on. Not that I grew up in Japan or anything, but I did grow up reading mangas that perpetrate roricon… which brings me to the question… is it really wrong to have this kind of complex, provided that nothing illegal gets involved, that I understand the value of maturity, and that I wouldn’t want middle aged women to giggle like a school girl to be attractive?

So, commented that I don’t draw men enough… so I’ve decided to draw more guys for a change. Continuing my trend to explore possibilities for Tides of Avalance, I’ve drawn the main character again with a wild mage, and… ur, the girl is a bonus.

Despite my interest, I’ve never had the will to actually take and go though an anatomy class, art major based or otherwise; therefore, the muscles on the characters might look reasonable, but I’m always unhappy knowing that they’re not exactly drawn right. It’s another reason I like to draw girls more – less muscles, more chances that I can fudge through anatomy that I’m not aware of (and of course, I also enjoy drawing anatomy that I’m all too well aware of).

The main character is holding the sword of the chosen, Elementis. In my original script, he found the sword a la “the sword in the stone” of Arthurian fame. It has turn out to be pretty corny now that I can think twice about it; I’ll probably scrap it and make him find it some other way. But honestly, how many way can a hero come to discover a magical sword that signifies he is the one to save the world?

The wild mage is originally named Zack and originally had DBZ style spikey hair, but as I discovered the existance of bishonens and their general role in fantasy anime series, I found that the womanizing personality of the character should lean him toward a bishi character design. I’m not completely happy with the hair style yet – it looks American Indian, which is not what I’m going for. I’m trying to get something that looks more like Sephiroth without the evilness, actually. I love the braids, I don’t want to get rid of it… it’s probably the strands in the back that is making the American Indian impression. I’ll fix that.

If anyone is reading all the way to here, I’d love to hear about name suggestions for these characters. John and Zack aren’t exactly great names for a medieval fantasy saga… I’m doing my bit of research into Celtic and Nordic myths to get some better names, but you know… help me out here. Especially if you’re bored.

And I’m still awake, all thanks to dumb me sleeping through the entire afternoon. I’m feeling day and night slowly reversing – not a good sign.

And after awhile, my scanner is screaming bloody murder and wants me to scan some more stuff, so I did:

I didn’t feel much need to cover the nudity, since they’re not intentionally nude and not detailed at all. I was making an attempt to reinvent the main characters in Tides of Avalance again. If I start to have any free time at all after I graduate, the first thing I’d do is to reestablish a webcomic – and it would most probably be Tides of Avalance. The entire story probably ran through my head more times than I can count, and it’s about time I actually get them on paper – or online – whatever, as long as others can read it.

As for reality, I’m rather happy that the Karaoke Party turned out pretty well, but the fact that so much more people showed up means that I need to improve my summoning powers – I need to be more pursuasive and persistent in inviting people. We ARE running out of songs to sing, though. We’ll definitely have to throw in DDR or DW4 or some other games if we are to throw a party like this again.

I couldn’t sign up for upper division writing again – that class desperately need more sessions and they’re not giving it to us, despite the “ICS needs more class” petition that I signed last year.

I also fall victim to my own desires and bought a copy Morrowind: Game Of The Year Edition online – I’m sorry, but the game is just too good for me to wait any longer.

I’m pissed.

I’m so fucking pissed.

FPS games are fun sometimes, but there are also moments when it just fucking pisses you off. Fucking no brain teammates, can’t shoot a target 5 feet away worth shit.

It’s a wonder how much morale can affect team based games. Like a real war, momentum can shift a team so that even newbies can score decently. I even realize the same thing happening to myself. When I start to lose and I can feel myself tilting, I shoot less for some reason; I’m not even talking about accuracy, I’m not even shooting. It’s like I am sending myself away like flies and I don’t even notice.

Of course, it doesn’t help that when I tilt, I generally play much worse than I can, which leads to me doing even worse. That usually results in furnitures getting pounded on and walls bashed – sometimes I’m happy about the “no questions asked” policy in my family – I feel glad that I don’t get questioned for bashing things over a stupid FPS game.

Well, it’s not all that stupid, actually, if I still want to pursue my dreams, I’ll be seeing games like these a lot.

And I’ll put in a cheat code so I and only I gets to kill everyone.

But still I don’t do the things I’m suppose to do.

So I’ve found the source of my allergy. Found at the back of a recently (one month recent) purchased RightGuard bottle has a warning sign that says thus: WARNING: Do not use on broken skin. If a rash develops, discontinue use. Now tell me, how many times do you promptly ignore these warning signs because they never applied to you? It just so happens that I make the exception in this instance. That makes me a believer… I’m going to go back and read all that crap about chronic back pain and epileptic seizures now.

The Karaoke Revolution party should fly, those that I count on coming who reads my LJ in this “chain of friendship networks” actually only includes Sid and Tracy (I think). The rest of the people either came up with valid excuses, not so valid excuses. Some dodged out, or flat out disgusted at the idea. While it’s certainly not the first time we disagreed on things (take Matrix Revolution, for example), but this is the first time where I’m the advocate of something and I’m the one doing the polling on everyone’s opinions. That doesn’t sound all that different, but somehow it is.

But all the things I just talked about bear no value to what I’m suppose to be doing right now… commission art that’s left undone, homeworks that I don’t do until the last minute, lectures being slept through or skipped, and I’m still afraid to go look for a job, even online. I’m so underqualified for any position out there it’s not even funny. You study stuff like this for half of your life and what do you have to show for it? Absolutely nothing! ^_^

Although I really have no right to complain at the moment, considering that I’ve never been through any *real* major trauma in life. Or, more accurately, none that I can remember – that’s a big difference.

So, here’s the deal.

To continue my campaign to make everybody try Karaoke Revolution, we are throwing a Karaoke Revolution Party thing this coming Friday. We haven’t decided on the place yet, but since George doesn’t want to sing, his place seems a bit off limits (I’ll ask him anyway). It’ll probably go from 2 in the afternoon till whenever.

I’ll IM everyone on my list today and tomorrow to distribute queries. We’re probably just going to meet up at ZZ at 2 on Friday and then go from there.

FUN~ SO FUN!

Well, the song list is completely unrelated to any DDR products (since it’s by another team altogether), but the gameplay mechanics is just as addictive! If I still have a birthday wish I’d bring the game and the headset over and make everyone sing at least one song.

But such as it is, it’d probably be another orange sky over California before anyone would pick up the mircophone in front of anyone else and sing *sigh*. But that wouldn’t stop me from trying though.

I have a feeling this game would be even better after a few drinks down the stomach, but that’s not what I’m planning right now~ yet.

So, George and I had a short discussion on my definition on what the “Ideally Perfect Asian Girl” would be like. I choked because I couldn’t come to concrete terms on the subject matter; but now, after giving it some more thoughts, and without referring to the context of the previous conversation, I hereby present to you this description of the “Ideally Perfect Asian Girl”:

1) Young; between the sweet age of 19 and 22.
2) Slim; thin as a stick but nevertheless does not make the person unattractive in any way.
3) Always in “presentable” makeup : enough to cover major blemishes, not enough to make people choke and gag over it.
4) Must show a happy smile at all times.
5) Must talk in a gleeful, gigglish tone at all times.
6) Rarely speaks unless being spoken to. Any response given must be submissive and non-invasive.

Do I realize how wrong this description is? Of course. Do I realize that this completely degrades the female gender as a whole? Absolutely. Do I think this is a desirable person? Yes, in a wierd, surreal way, I do… or at least until I actually start listing out the features in any coherent manner.

Over the better half of my life, I think I’ve been conditioned by a combination of TV shows, movies, and romance novels/anime/manga to believe that perfect girls are suppose to be like that. Real life is a harsh equalizer, but even then you can’t help but try and believe that somewhere floating around the clouds, someone like that exists… and that meeting someone like that is like hitting the Jackpot on the wheel of fortune – hard, but not impossible.

But of course, when you see something as it really is, you feel disillusioned and in the midst of the chaos of accepting reality, there’s always a tendency for one to go back and try to make one last grasp at something that has been proven false, and in doing so make a big mess out of your entire life. And then, afterwards, a period of void – where you try to find a new model of the world around you to replace the old, broken one.

Anyway, if anyone found a girl like that, send it my way – I’ll just need to collect a few more and send them all to study under the same dorm that happens to have a hot spring in the back…

You probably wouldn’t notice it since you’re viewing it from YOUR friend’s page, but I’ve resetted my LJ format to the old classic style in order to view my friend’s entries better. After some more name hunting, I’ve found some connection to the past that I’ve recorded with meticulous details in my older LJ entries. If I had found one or two more names, I would be able to finally reconnect my past completely with my present, something that my selective memory is never able to accomplish.

It would be my best wishes, anyway.

The fact is, my life as a collection is as color coded as it appears on my LJ page right now; I go through quantum leaps during stages in life where there’s little to be left after a stage is over. But then, I leap from one stage to another only because my old life is no longer acceptable to me, and I often blame myself for not making enough of an effort to salvage my past…

Such as it is, what was broken in the past remained as piles of waste that never fixes itself; much amends still needs to be made, and much more effort needs to be done to make all the good things in my life come back together again.